The Front Page Follies: You can’t make this stuff up!

Even though it’s been occurring for 32 years, The Front Page Follies show doesn’t get old. Why? So much new material every year.

Ever since Sarah Palin hit the national scene, Adina Chumley has played her in Follies skits. This year is no exception.

The Follies are a series of good-natured (mostly!) skits performed annually by local journalists and PR folks (along with a few ringers)  poking fun at area newsmakers and news events. Combined with a silent and live auction and dinner, they raise money for journalism scholarships given out by the local chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists.

The Blue Streak was invited to sit in on Follies rehearsal last night at the law offices of Anne McKinney, P.C., and we found the show to be loaded with funny bits. You need only think back over the year to see the potential: UT athletes try to rob someone at a Pilot and use a Prius as a get-away car; state Rep. Stacey Campfield gets kicked out of a UT football game for wearing a mask; Zach Wamp gets super mean in his race for governor against nice guy Bill Haslam; and to top it off, Sarah Palin visits Knoxville because she’s been hacked. And that’s not even counting the urban chicken, red light camera and tree-trimming controversies. Whew! What a town! This stuff practically writes itself!

The Front Page Follies will be July 24 at the Knoxville Convention Center. Tickets are $100 each, or you can get a table of 10 for $1,000. We go every year — this year Moxley Carmichael has three tables! You should come! Call Jennifer Horner at (865) 974-7073 for tickets.

Gene Patterson of WATE is the honoree this year. Anchors will be Lori Tucker of WATE, John Becker of WBIR, and Alan Williams of WVLT. Local weather forecasters will perform “Flakes on the Ground” to the tune of “Pants on the Ground.”

Here’s a sneak peek. But, shhh! Mum’s the word!

This is Carol Zinavage, or as I like to call her, the long-suffering Carol Zinavage. In “real life,” Carol is the principal keyboardist of the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra. But for many years now, she has been not only the keyboardist, but the director of The Front Page Follies.

Carol Zinavage, bless her heart

Shaun Fulco of Moxley Carmichael serves refreshments as the rehearsal begins. (I think the refreshments came directly from the Moxley Carmichael refrigerator!)

UT prof Jim Stovall is memorizing his lines.

Carol plays the tune of "Stand by Your Man," as Stephanie Anderson, center, and Stacy Stiles, who are in marketing and PR for Goodwill Industries, bemoan the proposed tax on tanning beds in "Stand by Your Tan."

Monty Howard of Salon Visage (formerly of Moxley Carmichael), and Lisa Hood Skinner of Ackermann PR practice the opening number, a slightly altered version of the "Oliver!" hit: "Consider Yourself Big News."

Bearden High math teacher Ernie Roberts has a role in the skit about the Ten Year Plan to End Chronic Homelessness.

One of my favorite songs has David Lauver playing John J. Duncan III. To the tune of Hank Williams Jr.’s  “Family Tradition,” he sings: “I am very proud/Of my Daddy’s name./Some folks who voted for me/Thought we were one and the same./Ever since my Granddad/Filed his first ballot petition/A Duncan’s run in each election./It’s a family tradition.”

David Lauver as John J. Duncan III

From left, Shaun Fulco, Stacy Stiles and Lisa Hood Skinner practice "California Schemin'."

From left, Stacy Stiles, Michael Foster and David Lauver are players in the skit about the ill-fated hold-up at Pilot, which is called "Gangsta Rap Sheets."

I wondered what happened to my Haslam sign! David Lauver is Wamp, Monty Howard is Haslam.

Lisa Hood Skinner gets ready to don her chicken hat in the bit about urban chickens.

Jim Stovall is a chicken, too.

Monty Howard in the closer, "Fifty Ways to Leave the Limelight." Ha!

Dorothy Bowles of UT is the chair of the Follies. She is a saint, a Christian martyr!